seriously its one of the worst days i’ve had in a while. first i go to smoke and we dont have enough time and the pipe was clogged, then i got to school (which is bad already) and found out that i didnt make it into the musical. i feel like everyone is lying to me all the time. i sing, and all these people tell me that it sounds good and that i would make it, but then i dont make it into the musical. not only did i not make it, but there were people on that list that i KNOW i am better than. im not trying to sound conceited AT ALL. im just saying, i really have no idea why i didnt make it and i find myself making up reasons just to make myself feel better. and then i go to second period: history. we got a ton of papers back in that class today and i discovered that i’ve failed nearly all of the tests we’ve taken recently. bye-bye tattoo reward for good grades. im so mad. i dont even know what to feel. its so irritating how little control i have over things. not my grades obviously, i could have studied harder for those tests. but now im listening to old music that reminds me of how my life used to be and how i would prefer that it was again. i want it all back. i want back my old friends, our house by the sea, i want the ocean again. i want to be able to swim in it and go surfing for ridiculous amounts of hours everday like i used to. i want to be back in california. i want my summer life back. i hate high school.